The Bad Advice Guppy Answers YOUR Questions

We get a lot of questions about reefing.  We’re pretty busy, so we thought we’d pass off questions to our resident expert, the bad advice guppy.  Here’s what he had to say.

How do I get my clownfish to host in my anemone?

Staples.

What’s the best way to control my flatworm population?

Take them on a trip to your local planned parenthood clinic.  They can get answers to common questions in a safe and confidential environment.

Can I put an Achilles tang in my 20 gallon tall?  I already have a Sohal and Vlamangi tang in there.

Yes.  Remember the golden rule of inches over gallons divided by the height of your skimmer times the number of pieces of live rock.  If that’s greater than pi, you’re good to go.

How much flow do I need?

Not enough flow will cause problems.  Too much will plaster your fish to the walls of your tank.  The ideal is somewhere in between.

Do I want a deep sand bed, a shallow one or bare bottom?

Yes.

What is this?

Looks like a cup of water.  Possibly salt water considering the hobby.  Hm…looks like you’ve got something at the bottom of your cup.  I wouldn’t recommend drinking it.

Do I have too much light over my tank?

Is your bulb brighter than the sun?  If it is, it’s probably too much.  I hope it doesn’t turn into a black hole.  That would be detrimental for your livestock and possibly your home.

My fish keep trying to jump out of the aquarium.  What do I do?

They sound depressed.  Maybe a change of scenery would help.  Take them for a walk.  Have they seen Deep Blue Sea?  It’s an uplifting movie for fish, kinda like their Shawshank Redemption.

Have a question for the bad advice guppy?  Send him an email!

Related posts:

1. The Bad Advice Guppy Returns
2. The Bad Advice Guppy Reads Your Emails
3. Bad advice is bad
4. The BAG Mailbag Returns
5. LFS That Lie

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